Wednesday, August 19, 2009

What have I become?

You know, I used to be funny here. I went back and read this post and this one too. I'm wondering why I haven't been so fun anymore? In an odd twist of irony, I'm being superfun in real life, but seem to be expending it all there. Not that that's bad, but I liked being fun here. I like it when you guys are fun (you know you are always). And because the gods are cruel and laugh at us, reading me being funny made me very sad. Sad that I've lost a little of that here.

Last year seemed mostly a whirlwind of politics and fervent passion. Reinvention and reacquaintence with the not depressed me. And in all that wildly swinging emotion, I suppose here became a place to play it safe. I'm glad you guys have stuck around. Even while I've been a boring stiff.

And the poetry? This one has been fairly killing me inside. The creative writing (short stories and novel work) is going great. But the poetry is gone gone gone. That has been such an integral part of me all my life, I feel a gaping wound where it used to lodge in my heart. I must try to find that voice again. I must try to find this wordy girl again.

8 comments:

flutter said...

rock it babe, it's in you. rock it.

Dick said...

One of the things I've noticed after over three & a half years reading blogs is how much we all have changed. My original purpose was to help me keep in touch with my friends and family as I traveled in my RV. Now we are thinking seriously of selling the RV as it isn't being used very much. Change I suppose usually is neither good nor bad but it does happen.

D-Man said...

Yeah, I always thought I'd be a poet. But these days I seem to only write songs instead.

meno said...

The Circle of Life.

It comes, it goes. It will come again.

de said...

I'm sure it's all there, just waiting it's turn. It's sad, how little time there is for everything in life, but only if you try to do it all at once.

Nancy Dancehall said...

What Meno said. It'll come back. The important thing is that you're writing.

Blasé said...

I guess you need to get your 'funny' back??

Go for it!

Maggie said...

Flutter, you know I think it's there too, it's just hiding for now because I got things a bit crowded in there of late.

Dick, I know what you mean. I never would have thought I'd find myself struggling with the question of whether I want to blog or not. It saved me from certain insanity and it's hard to let go of something like that.

D-Man, you card.

Meno, as long as I don't have to be held over a weird rock precipice at sunrise, I can deal with the whole circle thing.

De, aha (putting finger to nose) you hit that nail. If I could ever just figure out which thing to do when and be satisfied with that...

Nancy, well I have to admit that part does feel darn good. Stopping all together would hurt, surely.

Blase, I do. I'm still searching around. I've seen glimmers of it.