After a long hiatus, I have decided to return.
I've had the worst year of my life this year. Honestly. And yet, I am happy, probably happier than ever. I've learned that every moment counts, every person I love is precious, and being an active member of the world going on outside my door is a must. I have largely shed my fear of people. I understand choosing happiness now. It doesn't mean I have to always be happy, it means I am always actively seeking that state. There are legitimate circumstances in life that will rob us of happiness, prevent it completely. But these forces cannot keep up their influence forever unless we allow them to. Not an easy battle, defeating the dark side, but absolutely possible. I've always believed in being a pillar of strength, protector for my children. That has been tested to its limit this year. At this point, I dubiously quote a former President, "Bring it on." I can't imagine it getting any worse, truly. I don't intend to either. I want my children to look back on the events that we've lived through and remember me as the bull-headed, smiling, singing, loving mother that got them through.
On the sunnier side of the street, my husband has a new job he is happily anticipating. The relief of his stress levels has brought a warmth back to this house that we've missed for two years now. We are growing and it comforts me to know it. An indication we are alive and kicking.
I'm not sure I'll have much more of weight to say here (then again I'm not sure I won't either). However, for what it's worth, I'd love to say something anyways. I have missed the uncertainty, the exhilaration of sending my voice out into the everywhere and waiting to see what pops into view. And though I guard my poetry mostly for publishing these days, I think I'll be offering it up again here. I miss sharing that too.
I've sensed a falling away of the blogging world. It has been gobbled up largely by a social media which I admit I frequent. But I believe the blog world still holds great value and I hope there are others still lurking around this place with the same feeling.