Friday, February 17, 2012

Chasing Tail

I have a grumpy side.  Probably a shocker.  But yes, I do.  I have phases where my grumpy emerges for every infraction, which are mostly not actually infractions.  These are not menses phases since I no longer have those.  Oh joy, I do have something to celebrate every single day (and I mean that sincerely).  More than likely the phases of grumpy about everything are linked either to menopause or some surge in depression.

--Speaking of depression, I have a silver ribbon button that says, "Never Give Up" and each time I see it on my backpack, I feel a sort of solidarity.  With whom doesn't matter.  Just knowing that there are enough people suffering the same thing that a button was made, makes me feel I have peeps.  Everyone needs peeps.

While the everything makes me grumpy phase borders on witchy, it most often passes quickly.  On the other hand, I suffer a daily morning grumpy, not about elevating myself from a position of repose, but about interactions after said elevation.  Very specific interactions.  When I am reading in the morning, mostly catching up on all manner of computer goodness, I loathe to be interrupted.

There is a flaw in this model.  I am not a single woman.  In fact, not only am I married, but I have children.  Young, inquisitive children.  So, even though my husband and I get up each morning at least an hour before our progeny do, it seems I rarely spend more than five minutes of solitudinous reading.  Trying to read and being interrupted often enough that one sentence has been regurgitated at least four times, tries my soul.

The answer to this dilemma does not lie in ridding myself of the interrupters.  Not possible in the first place, not desired either.  The answer lies in getting rid of the need to read first thing in the morning.

All of this to say I think I lack skills in optimization.  For instance, when the children are at school, my time ought to be greedily hoarded into writing and reading, uninterrupted.  Why isn't it?  Because, as my husband describes it, he and I are both task ADD afflicted.  We're too interested in too many things.  Which leads to mind meandering.  Which essentially means, I'm interrupting myself.  Which kills time optimization.  Which results in not enough results.  Which makes me grumpy.

One day, I will catch my tail.

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P.S. Dear Blogger,

Solitudinous is a word, and it is spelled correctly.  Look it up.
So is witchy.

Yours truly,
Frustrated with your inaccurate, silently pretentious spelling dictionary which does not recognize real words.

1 comment:

jaded said...

i have a morning grumpy which isn't always a grumpy in so much as it is a desire to not interact with humans before 10AM. I have plenty of affection for the four footed, but I wish the two-footed would hush so I can finish reading Rolling Stone.