Thursday, December 12, 2013

Reading, Writing, Pinning

For the last two years I tried to do the Goodreads reading challenge.  I first set myself a mighty goal  of 50 and that year I read around 30.  For the second year (this year) I scaled down to 35.  I did not even make it to half that.  In my defense, I spent most of the year editing my own book and we had 6 months of renovations (if you want to give your marriage or your life for that matter a trial by fire, then please, renovate your whole house for 6 months).  Suffice it to say that reading fell low low low on the priorities list.  Which is a horrible thing to have to say.  This year, I will not be joining the reading challenge.  Not because I believe it is a bad idea, but because at this point I cannot even begin to gauge how many books I'm capable of reading.   So, I'm going to ramp back into reading the best I can and see where this year takes me.

Speaking of ramping, now that the first book is out there, after two some years of editing, I'm dying to do some hardcore writing.  I've started a first draft on another book and in January I'm planning on living, sleeping, eating, showering with my head in the book.  I won't finish the first draft by any means in that month but I'm hoping to give it a kick so that I can finish the draft by early spring.  Then I'm going to be drowning in editing again.  It feels wonderful to have direction like this, to not have that strange floating sensation of searching for what I will do.  I'm doing it.  Hurrah.

Completely unrelatedly, have you ever noticed that succulents look alien?  Seriously, I bet they are extra-terrestrials hiding out in the guise of plants.
See what I mean?  Someone should write a Doctor Who with evil succulents.

Oh I have a bunch of Pins for you too.  You know, geeky stuff, some holiday stuff, generally just a bit of fun.
http://www.pinterest.com/lynnealtaylor/week-of-december-2-2013/




Friday, December 06, 2013

What if you don't own a Kindle?



I've had a couple of people mention that they don't own a Kindle.  You can actually download the book and read it on other devices such as your home computer, a tablet or iPad, iPhone, Android devices and more.  Amazon has apps for that.  So I'm putting links up for that and you can find the links also on the Sneaking Out page.

In US, go HERE

In UK, go HERE

In Canada, go HERE

In France, go HERE

In Germany, go HERE

In Australia, go HERE


Thursday, December 05, 2013

What's an Authorgraph?...and Pins

I've discovered this cool service called Authorgraph.  Basically, a reader can sign up for free, find the book they want an author to "sign" and send a request.  The author then makes a personal message and signs their name - in their own handwriting using a mouse or pad.  Isn't that awesome?  The reader will receive the signed book (an image of the cover and the author's message and signature) via email, after which they can print it and frame it, put it in a binder, keep it on their computer (perhaps as their desktop image) or they can insert it into their digital book.  And it's all free.  That's fabulous!

Not that I think I'm some kind of heavyweight, big name, sought after author, but I think it would be great fun to offer this, so I signed up.  If you want a signed digital book cover from me, just go to Authorgraph and look up my book (alternatively, go here) and hit the 'Request Authorgraph' button.  Voila!

Hey, I've been pinning.  Wanna see?


That pic up there is a portal to a world full of giggly bits.  Go ahead, you want to.  Who could resist Sir Patrick Stewart singing a Christmas song?  Or a Dalek Christmas tree?  A seriously cool granny, gingerbread AT-AT.  Go, go.

By the way, when you enter your book on Authorgraph, you have to put in your ASIN number.  That's Amazon's ID number for it, basically.  My number starts with BOOG.  Seriously.  What more reason do you need to buy my book?


Friday, November 29, 2013

It's Official!

Drumroll please:




I have officially loosed my first-born book into the wild jungles of Amazon.




U.S. people, just click on the image above or just grab it from the sidebar.  For Canada, go HERE.  I haven't checked other countries yet, but it should be available in just about any of them, so go check the Amazon of your choice!
I'm so thrilled and excited.

I had wanted to get my book trailer video done and Phillipe wanted to make illustrations for it beyond the cover but that just wasn't possible at this time due to other commitments and we thought, what are we waiting for?  We should get it up there because it's the story that counts!  So there you go.  As we finish other pieces of the puzzle we'll post updates here.  You'll notice a page for the book on the menu bar which will have the links for major outlets to get the book for your digital devices, and also a page called Sneaking Out Extras.  There are already lots of fun tidbits there and if you check back from time to time we'll be adding more, like those illustrations he wants to do.


Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Hell Hath no Fury Like a Construction Worker with a Drill



Hello.

I am emerging from construction hell just long enough to make a post and throw up some pins.  I have a pin board, ostensibly named Week of October 7, but in actuality it covers all of October and most of November.  Go figure.

Book news.  I am so close to publishing my book I can practically smell the pages - well, actually, it's being published in digital format for now so I guess that would just be the pleasant odor of plastic hugging the words.  I am awaiting a few illustrations and working on a book trailer.  If those go smoothly in the next few weeks, a book publish date announcement will become official.  I don't want to jump the gun though.  Right now, I cannot possibly predict when I will be completely ready.  I have learned not to make promises until I know, for certain, that I'm ready.

I have to say, that after two to three years of working on this book, my head spins thinking of all the work it takes to prepare a book for the eyes of the world.  Even then, I still feel that the book is a d├ębut, rather naive thing, though I am proud of it.

Until we can move forward, I will share the cover image, to whet your appetite.


And here are those pins I promised:


Saturday, October 26, 2013

On A Learning Curve

I bought a Canon Rebel T3i.  I've been learning the basics of DSLR photography.  I've wanted a DSLR for a long long time.  Here are a few of my first pictures:








And here is one I didn't take, my husband took it.

Not too shabby for starters, but I could do with a lot of practice and learning.

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Why They Did Faramir Wrong


I'm warning you now, if you're not a fan of Lord of the Rings or have not seen the films or read the books, this post is going to be completely confusing and possibly boring to you.  You can continue to read, after all I can't stop you, but I advise you see the films and read the books first.  At the very least, do one of the two, then come back.

photo found at http://www.theonering.net
In a drunken endeavor to convey a thoughtful analysis of the characters Faramir and Boromir from Lord of the Rings last night, I clumsily tripped over my tongue and murdered my thought, which resulted in tears through laughter.  Today I'm going to attempt to explain this, sober.

Why I Think Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens Didn't Understand Faramir and Messed Him Up:

I absolutely love the film version of Lord of the Rings that Peter Jackson made.  I admire the writing work they did, the gorgeous lines of dialogue.  Especially notable for me is Galadriel's Prologue with one of my all time favorite lines from the three films: "...and some things that should not have been forgotten, were lost."

That said, I believe they completely went wrong with one thing.  In the extended version special features they explain their thinking on why they decided to change how Faramir reacts to the ring.  They wanted to give Faramir a character arch, a story.  But what I feel they failed to see is that Faramir has an arch and a story, but it has nothing to do with the ring.  It is centered around his relationship with his father.  As for Faramir's relationship with the ring, in the books he plays an extremely important role, I think.  Here's why.

In the books, humans (referred to as 'men') were the weakest of the races when it came to the power of the ring.  Through the journey of the ring from Hobbiton to Mordor, there are only two humans that come in direct proximity to it and the influence of its power: Boromir and Faramir.  Now, you might argue that Aragorn is human, but technically he is Numenorean, who have Elf blood mixed into their race along with having been given a 'blessing' of unnatural long life and the 'royal' line even longer life and greater strength.  Not at least, your typical human.  Whereas Boromir and Faramir are very much human.

Boromir in every day life was a strong man, valiant in defending Gondor, which was stewarded by his father.  But when he came in contact with the ring, he proved weak, succumbing to its power through his own desire for power.  Faramir seems weaker in the affairs of life and defending his lands, as he is a softer person, more given to the art of negotiation.  Though he does lead a troop which patrols the lands around Gondor and kills enemies, which is how he meets Frodo and comes in contact with the ring.  In the books, he states he would not touch the ring.  He is stronger of mind than his brother though not as warlike and valiant.  The contrast between these two I believe is vital for showing that not all humans were corrupt and susceptible.  It also highlights the relationship of Faramir with his father in comparison to Boromir's.  Faramir's role in the story holds a certain subtlety of layers that I appreciate.  I did not enjoy seeing that completely dropped for the expediency of feeding the power of the ring.  The ring held sway over enough otherwise strong people in the story that one more was not needed.  Just because Faramir refuses the ring and resists its power does not mean it was easy for him, it simply means the ring did not affect him the way it affected others.  Just like it affects Hobbits in a completely different way in the story.  It holds a power over them, but it has nothing to do with desire to wield power for the Hobbits and therefore it mainly forms strong attachments to them and they in turn live overly long lives and become more and more paranoid.

In the end, I understand that Faramir's arch through his relationship with his father, and learning to stand his ground in the face of his father's madness might have been a much more difficult arch to convey and pull off in film.  But I still think they could have done it and done a wonderful job of it too.  After all, they managed to make an epic film from an epic story and knocked it out of the ballpark.

Monday, September 23, 2013

A Poem Early in the Week

I wrote this poem a while ago but had not been able to get the video edited until today.  It's called Spiral Bound







Spiral Bound

She starts an act of interruption,
feels a tug inside a lung
where the word 'finish' has stuck
inside pockets eager to claim
anything of value.
She's a spiral bound person
flipping through catalogs of potential.
What she wants, she denies.
She inflicts her abandonment philosophy
before she can begin.
A game of avoidance, a dance of preservation.
She wallows in dreams
she has no intentions of pursuing.
She quotes quotes about the journey
as she slinks away from closure like a fox
dodging hounds.
She wields her weapon of choice,
the procrastination broom
which sweeps the hairballs and dust
from one room to the next
just to prove something moved,

because she moves, at least she moves.


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Things I'll Say



I'm a chicken even in the cyber-world.  Oh and cute animals will prompt gooey responses even if they are little cartoon blocks.

Actual quotes from yours truly while playing Minecraft:

just walking around - "Oh hi there pig.  You're so cute.  Oh and you're following me.  I don't even have a carrot for you.  Look at that face.  Honey look, a pig is following me for no reason."

killing a cow - "Oh don't look at me like that.  I'm hungry, I need food.  I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry."  (I still killed it, poor thing)

attacked by a spider - "Ah he's attacking me, he's attacking me!  Take that you spider bastard!"

standing atop my glass biodome - "I see you you sneaky skeleton.  You can't reach me with your arrows, nah nah nah nah nah.  Look honey, I'm taunting a skeleton."

attacked by a baby zombie - "Baby zombies are evil.  I hate baby zombies.  He won't die!  Aggh, I'm being double teamed by baby zombies.  These little devils are so fast and they keep hitting me from behind!  I'm going to kill you, you devil babies!"  (at this point, my husband sitting next to me in our shared office has begun to laugh hysterically)

attacked by another monster - "Oh no, my sword broke!  I'm hitting it with seeds.  Get back, get away from me.  I'll beat you, I'll beat you with seeds and you will die!"




Tuesday, September 10, 2013

It Came Naturally




It's one thing to ramble on your blog about yourself sharing the weird minutia flying around in your brain, and completely another to write a bio for your book.  So I'm realizing.

Suddenly a short two paragraphs describing myself feel like a bubble of gloom about to pop over my head.  How can I convey my need to write, my love of words, my sense of humor, a little capsule image of who I am?  How do I do that right?  I certainly don't want to bore people so that they go cross-eyed and begin to think eating a carton of rocky road ice-cream while screaming out the car window on an all-night drive to the insane asylum doesn't sound too bad.  I've been there.  (Not to the insane asylum, nor have I screamed out the car window all night.  Come to think of it, I've never eaten an entire carton of ice cream in one sitting either.  So I haven't been there.  Note the italics, that's a key clue.)  I've read that bio.  It basically goes like this:

Harry Author writes books of scary horror while working in an accounting firm by day.  He has awards for his last three novels The First Novel of Harry Author, The Second Novel of Harry Author and The Third Novel of Harry Author, which include The Super Awesome Writer's Award, The Novelist's Choice for Most Interestingly Boring Author Award...

and right about word 12 of that bio my finger twitches, one of my eyes starts wiggling and twenty hairs just behind my left ear tingle.  Then I turn the page and think, "Jeez, I hope the book isn't like that."

I know what I want to read when I read an author bio.  I want funny, I want personal, I want quirky.  I want to know who the person behind the text is and I'd like to be entertained by it.  Let's face it, for the most part, if I'm reading, I'm doing it for entertainment's sake.  I don't have a litmus test for authors in order to read their book.  I don't particularly care if they've won awards or written the definitive works on soil contamination under the paws of brindle boxers.  I don't think authors who have finished university degrees in English, literature, English literature, or any other degree are going to write something magnitudes better than someone who hasn't.  If you're a story-teller, you are what you are.

-----Please note:  I am not disparaging having a degree in English, literature or English literature or any other subject.  A degree of any kind impresses me, truly it does.  I am not disparaging having awards.  I hope to have some awards myself someday.  I mean, it'd be nice.  I'm just saying, give it to me with some fun.  Add some damn unicorns dancing on rainbow covered clouds.  Something other than a comma delimited list dryer than uncooked oatmeal.  It's not enough.--------

I'd like to make my bio what I would want to read, but I also want to look professional.  So as I sit here contemplating myself, the natural answer came to me.  Blog.

Pins:


from board: Week of September 2, 2013



Thursday, September 05, 2013

Random Insignificant Thoughts

I do not like the color combination of mustard yellow and grey.
image found at: http://www.fashion-isha.com


I'm never quite sure if I should spell grey with an 'a' or an 'e'.  I prefer 'e'.

I started using Trello and am now addicted.  Get organized - check it out.  (It's also available as an app on your phone, so you know, while you're out and about, you can keep track of your to-do stuff.)

I started playing Minecraft and am now addicted.  We play as a family.  The kids mainly like to go out at night and kill monsters.  I tend toward the farming - I don't know why.  My husband does a lot of mining.  I started mining some, I like it more than I thought I would.  "That's all I have to say about that."

image found at: www.planetminecraft.com
'Creepers and Zombies and Endermen, oh my!'

It rained most of the summer.  I have not completely melted, but an odd side-effect is that I'm looking forward to the snow.  Huh.

I have become completely fascinated with artist teddy bears.  You should check them out.  It is so not what you would expect.  These are not cute bears, they are gorgeous bears, with stories in them.
image from Etsy shop UnOursonSurLaLune: http://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/UnOursonsurLaLune


I'm writing a story about a dog toy that got chewed up so much it becomes a sort of zombie teddy bear.  I call it Dead Teddy.

I cannot get used to the idea of high-waisted pants.  This just does not look flattering to me, at all.  (Maybe it's just a hang up because of the whole idea of having had babies and NEVER wanting to give in to the idea of 'Mom jeans'.)


I'm in the last stages of preparing my book for publishing.  I feel like I found a baby animal in the forest and nursed it and watched it grow and now I'm supposed to release it into the wild but I'm afraid for it to be out on its own and I just don't know if I'm ready to let it go.

I have been experience some sort of bad car karma.  I've had three incidents (an unjust ticket that I have no idea what to do about so I'll probably pay just to get it off my plate, a child dinged someone's car door, and I ran a red at the last second which was such a stupid thing to do.)  I spent the last fifteen years not getting one infraction.  I drive like a granny because I think cars are such potential killing machines, that's my way of making sure the 'safety' is on.  Yet here I am with bad car karma.  I may have to hold some kind of seance or cleansing with dried sage, I'm not sure.

PINS:

Week of August 19, 2013 board: http://pinterest.com/lynnealtaylor/week-of-august-19-2013/


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Poetry Reading Video: The Waiter




The Waiter


There are these times
when I resent being the left-out.
When, where you are isn't where I am
and where we are won't happen right away.
I try to engage you from a distance
but you send those signals,
the Not Now and the Later.
I have engineered my own hurt feelings.

I sometimes stew
in jealousy of the things you know
and the people you give them to.
I miss the act of knowing something,
something particular, particularly well,
and having people somewhere seek me for knowing it.
It is an excuse to feel small.

So no, I don't want to talk about this later.
I don't want to wait till you get home.
I don't want to be the one always waiting,
the waiter with dinner.


Monday, August 19, 2013

Woody Hipster Pins and More!

Hi.  I have pins.  (I'm still working on the poem - or rather I honestly haven't started.  I could list you all the things that have been calling me away, but to be truthful, I didn't make time yet and I'm sorry for that but I'm also not giving up.

"You didn't slay the dragon?"
"It's on my to do list."

*I couldn't find video clip of this..oh well)

Pins.  Here you will find a pin board in which I went a little crazy looking at artist teddy bears - they are so beautiful.  There are also some hipster references, a weird guy on a bicycle, Kick Ass action figures, a pasta measurer with quite a twist, some lovely children's illustrations, a watercolor I made and stuff like that.  Just click through.

Woody Hipster pin from board Week of August 5, 2013: http://pinterest.com/lynnealtaylor/week-of-august-5-2013/
My second board has neato stuff like Chthulu, a Google maps tardis, something for writer's block, a place to park your VW van-ish and more!

A day at the Beach with Chthulu pin from board Week of August 12, 2013: http://pinterest.com/lynnealtaylor/week-of-august-12-2013/
Alternately, it hadn't occurred to me before, but you could follow me on Pinterest:



Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Pins, Hey There

Hi.  I'm alive.  We've been renovating...our bathroom.  Let me tell you something, if you're ever going to do this, do it once and then never do it again.  Especially if it's the only bathroom in your house with bathing/showering facilities.  We have an extra powder room downstairs, thank everything.  But until about three days ago, we'd spent two weeks showering outside.  We set up a camping shelter built for showering, but we used that as our changing room.  We then strung shower curtains from that to our outdoor shower which before this had been used only for cooling off purposes.  It's a lot different to shower with soap and clean than to jump in the cold cold water for a few seconds while wearing your bathing suit.  Thankfully our backyard has a great deal of privacy, especially since we have no neighbors behind us.  But I will never want to have to shower outside again.  I mean it!

Want to see some fun pins?  I've got one board that is labeled for a week but truthfully has pins of about a month on it.  The second one is for last week - small but fun.

Week of June 17 - but truthfully a whole month's worth




Week of July 8th



It's great to be back.  I have a poem to share for Friday and then next week, I'll post up a word for Poetry Friday and we can get back to that too!  See you soon.

Monday, May 06, 2013

Pins with a Creepy Monkey Flower

Check this out, did you know that orchids come in a Creepy Monkey Variety?  OK, they're not actually called Creepy Monkey - but they should be.  If that were in my house, I'd be scared to go near it.  If you dare, go to my pin board and see it closer - chills up spine.  While you're there, you'll get to see some other cool stuff like a necklace made from a dog nose impression (an actual dog nose impression), some funky lamps (even one that looks like a dog - is there a theme here?), a cat squishing itself into a bowl (dumb cats), glow in the dark sunglasses (which is kind of backwards if you think about it), a giant shark head for your wall (this is actually cool), Totoro espresso foam, a Battleship USB hub, and even Darth Vader in a kilt on a unicycle playing bagpipes - seriously.  Go, go on.  (Just click the picture and enter the rabbit hole.)








Also, we'll need a word for Poetry Friday.  Hopefully this week I can eke out some poetry, especially in light of the fact that my husband just gave me a real microphone for my birthday and I can record my poetry now without sounding like a snake with a lisp which is just plain annoying right?  Oh yeah, a word.  Let's use IMPRESSION - there's an odd one.

Remember: Poetry Friday is mainly a prompt to make something cool with whatever art form you choose, I just happen to gravitate to poetry.  Use the word as inspiration and inject it in a story, a poem, the imagery of it in a piece of art or whatever gets your juices flowing.  If you make one, get the word out - post a url here in the comments on Friday (post will say Poetry Friday), or tweet with the hashtag #poetryfriday.  See you there!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Calling All Whovians

image from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/

So, then.  Whovians, I call to you for aid.  I've seen a lot of rumble over the past year about Doctor Who.  I thought, what is this show about eh? (I'm Canadian now, it's official.  Only we don't actually say eh here in Quebec.  It'd be something more like, maudit).  Anyways, I've been interested in checking it out so I watched a Christmas special I found on Netflix.  That was cool.  I'd definitely like to see more.  But when I researched (i.e. Googled and checked in Wikipedia) I found a hell of a lot of information and a list of the different doctors - it seems there are 11 so far.  But what I couldn't figure out, is how to watch it from beginning to end.  The DVD's offered by the BBC are in series and then there are a lot of other DVD's with show titles but it's very difficult to figure out how to go about watching from the first doctor and seeing the shows in the right sequence.  Now, maybe I'm looking at it all wrong.  Maybe if I just watch series 1 through 7 it covers all 11 doctors?  You tell me.  Is it worth it to go back all the way to the first doctor and watch them sequentially or should I just watch the newer ones?  I'm looking for a little guidance.  Give a newbie some of your deep Whovian wisdom.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Pins for the Week

I have not been able to finish the poem for last week.  In fact, it's barely started.  But, I have hope it will get there.  I will post a video up whenever that happens.  In the meantime, I have some more geeky Pins from this last week for you:


What do you Unicorns believe in? Chewbacca's first day of school,  a song sung in Klingon, Vader is afraid of spiders, HP Lovecraft inspired chandeliere, and more

Tomorrow, I'll be ruminating about being one of the last remaining geeks who hasn't seen Doctor Who.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Dust on my Floor


I'm having one of those times when reading the news and the internet buzz is bringing me down.  Way down.  Sometimes I begin to think I'd rather not belong to the human race.  Or more realistically, I'd like to go some place and hide from it all.  But then none of that is truly realistic.

I'm a rather susceptible person.  I easily engage in stories, movies, plays.  When the real world closes in on me, my emotions feel like a poison spreading through every nerve.  It doesn't take much when the things I'm reading about or watching have actually happened.  I am astounded at the capacity of humans for so much base cruelty and violence.  I'm equally disturbed by the retributive attitude that often waves through a society after some violent act.  It's a vicious cycle.

I'm not one to judge anyone.  I'm just one.  That's it.  But I can't help feeling that any gleefully hateful attitude is wrong, whether it feels justified or not.  Do I think that perpetrators of violent acts should be forgiven easily or simply loved and everything will be better?  Of course not.  But when a nation in grief stands up and cheers because the perpetrator has been killed, I'm sickened.  I think the whole of it is sad.  The beginning, the hate and killing, and the end.

On top of all that, there is talk of how we engage in fervor about an event, when our patriotism or our awareness hones in on the event and then it wanes easily.  People cast judgement on those that 'move on' too quickly.  Frankly, we have to move on at some point.  Does it mean we forget?  No.  Does it mean we don't care?  No.  But if we live wallowing in the aftermath of terrorism, terrorism wins.  What is a proper amount of time before we go back to life?  That's a question only each individual can answer because grief and shock affect each person differently.

Instead of celebrating the death of someone, or judging people for moving forward, or judging people for not moving forward, or whatever other negative, judgemental action we could take, I wish we could try to understand.  That's all.  Try to understand why someone would or could do something so awful.  Try to understand why we react in our different ways.  Try to understand where to go from here and how to hold on to our beliefs, our freedoms and our sense of community without shutting out any sector of that community.

The 24 hour news coverage, the network's attempts at deep philosophical analysis, the easily flying accusations, the fear of a segment of our society, all these things feel like an anvil pushing me deeper into muddy ground that I cannot escape.  I'm sick of politics, I'm sick of hate.  I'm tired.  I'm tired of feeling that my roots are poison because I come from a nation that many other nations hate.  I'm tired of feeling that I have to stand on the right or the left and that if I do, I'm required to hate anyone standing on the opposite side as me.  I'm tired of being hated for standing anywhere.

It doesn't matter who I voted for or who you voted for.  It doesn't matter in the end because I'm still just like you no matter what I believe.  I'm a person, I need to work, support my family, raise my children, live in a neighborhood, go to school, buy groceries, eat, sleep, defecate, wake up, wear clothes, make love to my lover, meet up with my family, uphold a support system for my friends and family knowing that they do the same for me, rake the leaves from my yard, sweep the dust from my floor.  It comes down to that really.  The dust on my floor has no idea whether I'm liberal or conservative or somewhere in between, it sits there all the same until I clean it up.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Giant Monkeys Agree: Batman Misbehaved and Spring was Drunk

What?

Well, yeah.  Check it out.  Click on the picture below and you'll be whisked away to a magical land called Pinterest board, Week of April 15, 2013:


In other news, there's stuff happening all over the world.

And on Friday, rumor has it, there may be a poem here containing the word:  STICK.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Poetry Friday - Boots

I have a poem!  I have a poem!





Songs Rarely Known

She was born with her rainboots on
and wandered out from the womb
never glancing back.
She tromped through the milestones
and splashed the delight of her mother
with brown and oozing mud.
She collected forest trinkets to line her
seasons with.
But every now and then
she staid her feet to lay in breezes
and play stare with time.
She always won.
She sang, but never to the birds
and never with the sweetest voice that grew
from an acorn to an oak.
She sang off-key the songs rarely known
leaving the creatures in her wake
but she didn't mind,
she sang to the stars as
they leaned in closer and strained to catch
the call of this wild thing crowned in matted hair,
laced with fallen leaves.



If you've made something for Poetry Friday this week, feel free to leave a link in the comments!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

How Long?

I must have at least three or four weeks worth of pins.  I've been absent from this place during my immersion in editing.  I can see now why authors say they get sick of their book.  I have edited so much that I am waning in love for the tale.  However, this tedium, the fixing and refixing, is necessary.  In any case, that leads me to these pins I've been collecting.  I'd like to share them with you.

for the Week of April 8th
(Come on in and see a Death Star firepit, a sassy grandfather clock, a flying spaghetti monster ornament, Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra - if you get this I love you, and instructions for dancing Thriller.)


for the Week of April 1st

(Here you will find a LEGO Bob Ross - oh yes!, a steampunk bird, Alfred Hitchcock and some rather menacing birds, Firefly art, a Boba Fett KitchenAid and even some beachy coastal art.)


for the Week of March 26th
(Whose life would be complete without seeing Star Wars yoga, a frozen bubble, or Stormtrooper love? No, then how about a kitten, everyone loves kittens.)



for the Week of March 18th

(LEGO gangsters, pencil art, The Dude t-shirt, a firefly tattoo and a crime scene beach towel, to name a few goodies in this one.)


for the Week of March 11th
(Here you will find a little LEGO naughtiness, an anatomically correct heart necklace, a black unicorn and the comfiest couch you've ever seen.)

I was wrong.  It was five weeks worth.  Huh.

While I've got you here, would you like a word for Poetry Friday?  Ok.  How about BOOTS?
See you there!

Monday, April 15, 2013

I Cringed, I Enjoyed, I Empathized in a Weird Way and Mostly I Appreciated My Life

Image from www.imdb.com
I recently watched this documentary titled The Queen of Versailles by Virginia Nebab.  It's an interesting look at wealth and how it can change people, and how losing it can do the same.  It follows the Siegel family, whose riches came from time share condo sales.  David Siegel was called the Time Share King because he started the whole craze and made billions off of it.  But when the current recession came crashing in, and housing values dropped out of the sky, and banks were calling in loans, they stopped giving him the loans to finance people he sells the time shares to on top of which they called in his loans especially those of the 'Westgate Towers' he built in Las Vegas.  When they did this, he lost pretty much everything.  He lost the towers and held on to his business by the skin of his teeth.

In the beginning of the documentary, he and his wife were building the largest house in America measuring in at somewhere around 90,000 square feet.  They had designed it after the palace of Versailles, providing the film's title.  Once the market dropped, they of course had to stop building it.  They were half way done at the time.  They tried to sell it for $75 million but given the economy and the number of people able to buy at that price, they of course did not sell.  The bank tried to foreclose on them.  Last I was able to find out, they still own it.  He somehow managed to stay the foreclosure.  The house embodied their lifestyle at the time the film began: ostentatious, jet-setting and full of the toys of the wealthy.  These things, I really wouldn't begrudge them.  Having a private jet, house cleaners, a nice big house (not the 90k sq ft one though), fancy cars etc, really aren't something to judge someone for.  They had the money, they used it.  As would anyone, myself included though I would hope a bit more reasonably.  But where they came across wrong is in their complete over-the-top, excessiveness and cluelessness about the world around them.  When they could no longer keep most of their staff on, they had to clean the house themselves, only they really didn't know how to and watching the film you see a degeneration of their living conditions which made me squeamish.  It was obvious that without the people they'd been so used to taking care of things before they even noticed them, they couldn't function.  Jackie, David's wife, tries to 'cut back' by shopping for Christmas at Walmart but ends up buying 5 or 6 carts full of stuff for their 10 person family.  I think the most striking image in that whole sequence for me was that she bought a brand new bicycle for one of her children and as she, her nanny and housekeeper were carrying all that stuff into the house, they passed through the garage which was literally littered with dozens of bicycles (I'm serious there were at least 30).  What would one more bicycle really mean to that child?  In fact, none of those toys really meant anything other than something wrapped in paper.  Once it was opened, it was nothing more than a thing amongst a jungle of things.  It was sad.

When they were faced with this hardship, David began crumpling under the stress and being grumpy and somewhat mean to his wife and family.  On the other hand, in spite of her cluelessness, Jackie stuck by her man, defended him and put in a valiant effort to muster her family together.  I was impressed.  She may have had her issues, but I had to respect that she had a great attitude.  Not getting the new house she so much wanted?  She was not only willing to consider moving into something even smaller than where they currently were (a 26,000 square foot home), but she appeared genuinely grateful to have whatever they did have, knowing that so many of the people who had worked for their company were laid off and without money at all.  She started a thrift shop mostly from her own things to help people, most of whom were former employees.  Don't get me wrong, I was disgusted at her continuing to have plastic surgery done in spite of the fact that she was mostly comprised of fake parts already and her spending with hardly any thought to reining things in, or that she and her kids went about their house littered in dog sh*t without even bothering to pick any of it up.

This film affected me in a way I hadn't expected.  I felt truly sad for this family even though it would seem there was really nothing to be sad for, given they had all that money and squandered a great deal of it, that didn't change the fact that Jackie and her kids were not bad people.  I even suspect her husband, David is not so bad either.  Anyone would react to that much stress.  His son who worked for him in the company I had no respect for.  He spoke about the people they were selling time shares to as 'moochers' and 'greedy' because they would come into those stupid speals for the free offers.  First of all, his company offered those freebies knowing they were going to sucker a great proportion of people into buying something they not only couldn't afford but didn't need.  He came across as a complete jerk and hypocrite.  But I digress.  The other effect came in that I found myself feeling grateful for everything I have because even in our broken down little house, with our rusty little put-put car, we have a strong marriage, great kids and an appreciation of living within our means.  I would love to be able to fix this house or better yet buy a nicer one, have nice cars, take wonderful trips, all the things we wish for when we think of having extra money, but in the end, I already have everything I need and love.

I highly recommend watching this film.

Monday, March 11, 2013

When your body betrays


I have long held the stance that big boobs are not what they're cracked up to be.  So many women and girls dream of bigger boobs and cleavage but having had both large and regular sized breasts, at this point I can tell you that smaller boobs are nice.  They fit into any piece of clothing without trying to peek out over the top or burst through an opening and they demurely stay in their support unlike bigger boobs which are constantly trying to escape everything.  But now I have a warning to all those wishing for larger boobs, beware!  My boobs have tried to kill me.
You heard me right.

It all started the other day when I showered.  I don't wash my hair every day.  Not because I'm a lazy stinky person, but because I have thick thick hair that takes quite a bit of effort to dry and which remains healthy without shampooing every day.  I wash it about once every three days.  On this particular day I washed my hair and planned to blow it dry.  When I want to give it a curly look, I tip my head over and pile hair into the diffuser of the blow dryer allowing it to dry as it rests there.  This means I keep my head tipped over as far as possible.

What the heck does my hair and a blow dryer have to do with my boobs?  Prior to that day, I would have told you nothing.  But apparently my boobs saw their chance to off me.  As I was doubled over, holding a hair dryer close to my head, my boobs squeezed into my larynx and cut off my airflow.  (That would be the airflow to my lungs, not my hair dryer). I coughed and wheezed and stood up.  I tried again, doubling over to gather hair into my diffuser when my boobs moved in on my throat again and cut off my air.

Who would have thought my boobs would be so hell bent on murder?  After all, I've taken excellent care of them over the years.  I keep them clean and dry.  I dress them as nicely as possible.  I've been their constant friend all their life.  In the end, none of that loving care meant anything to them.  For some reason they want to kill me.  I can't even begin to fathom what motive they harbor for such a notion.  If anyone has any ideas, let me know.  Perhaps I can negotiate a truce.  Because after all, I could have turned them in to the authorities but that would have required me to be arrested as well since they are attached to my body.  You know what that means right?

I have to sleep with one eye open and am living in fear for my life.  From. My. Boobs.

So ladies, I tell you, be glad of your small boobs who haven't got the capacity to kill you.  Unless of course they install some sort of poisonous dart system into the nipples.  Then you better watch out!

Want some Pins?  Huh?  Huh?  Huh?  Wellllllllll, OK.  But there are no boob pictures to go with today's post.  Just geeky stuff mainly.  Check for yourself, click on the picture to see my board for the past week.



Word for Poetry Friday this week:  Harbor

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Pins, Word

Hey, I've got some Pins for ya!  From super cool treehouses, celebs doing odd things, crocheted anatomy to Star Wars puns, LEGO Star Trek Enterprise and lovely gardens.  Check it all out by clicking the picture below.



As for Poetry Friday this week, I'd like to join in this time.  I've been battling the Inner Lie of late but am feeling as though the fog is lifting, finally.  What better time to write poetry then, wouldn't you say? I'm thinking, maybe we could use the word MIND.  You know because the Inner Lie happens in your mind and that's a picture of Yoda up there, who is a Jedi, which we all know have Jedi mind tricks.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The Wesley Crusher Effect and The Deanna Troi Ineptitude



My husband and I have been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation in order from the beginning since it came out on Netflix Canada.  Some observations:

1. My husband informs me that Wesley Crusher was one of the most hated characters on the show. I had no idea. When I was young and watched it, he was chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with whipped cream on top, but then I was also tumbling all over for the karate kid, so yeah. Watching it now I think I can see why the character might have been annoying. He's perfect. He's always nice, overly nice. The only mistake he's made so far was to accidentally release nanites on the ship which started to eat away at it causing system failures that could have killed the entire crew or blew up the ship or something. But, he accidentally released them because he was studying and they were part of an experiment - seriously even his mistakes are founded in super-good-kid attributes.  (He provides a great study in why characters should have flaws.) On the other hand, evil Wil Wheaton probably enjoys such popularity on The Big Bang Theory precisely because he's so damn evil, counteracting his younger character's fairy tale prince persona.


2. What the hell is up with Deanna Troi?  Have you ever noticed how useless she is?  Some communication will happen, the Captain will turn to her and she'll say, "I'm not sure but it feels as though he's lying." or "I can feel that something isn't right but I can't explain it." How about this one, "There is life on the planet, but it's so strange, I can't understand it. It doesn't feel like normal life" or "Something's wrong. I don't know what it is." -- for an empath she seriously doesn't give much information.  Oh and whenever something is direly wrong, she NEVER tells the captain or Dr. Crusher.  She keeps it all to herself until it's almost too late and/or she's screaming in agony.  Uh duh?



3. When you watch the show do you find yourself listening to Data trying to catch him in a contraction?


----------------------------

We need a word for Poetry Friday.  This week let's use CHARACTER.

Friday, February 08, 2013

Conversations with my Husband

photo by quicheisinsane at Flickr found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gifake/5203458737/



Me:  I thought of something last night.  We totally live in the perfect place in case a pandemic or the zombie apocalypse breaks out.

Phillipe: Why?

Me: Because it's cold up here, like way too cold.  Zombies would come into Canada and say, "Brains. No, no brains, too cold." And then they'd leave.

Phillipe: Good thing you convinced us to move here then.

Me: I know.  I'm all about protecting the kids.  You too, but you know you can kill zombies.

Phillipe: How do you know that?  I've never killed one before.

Me: Well there was that one giant spider that stalked me in the basement for months, and you killed that like nothing.

Phillipe: Zombies and spiders are not the same thing.

Me: Yes they are.  Zombies are mindless evil things that want to eat you.  Spiders are mindless evil things that want to eat you plus they have eight legs which makes them even more dangerous than zombies.  So you know, you'd be like the superhero of a zombie apocalypse!

Phillipe - kisses me and says, "I love you, you freaky geek."

-------------------------------------------------

 By the way, when googling in image search for 'zombieland' a picture of a woman grabbing her breasts comes up. What does that have to do with zombies?

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

At the Ticket Counter



Real Customer Service:

Me: It says here that my seat is a middle seat.  Do you happen to have any window seats?

Ticket Agent: Ooh, I'm not sure yet.  Do you mind aisle seats?

Me: No that would be fine too.

Ticket Agent: I will call you when I know if I can move you.

Me: Thanks.

wait wait wait wait

Ticket Agent: Lynnea Taylor to the counter please.

--in my head: ooh I was just intercommed to the counter in a major international airport, people might be thinking, hey who is that important person? Or maybe they were thinking, cool, someone's going to be strip searched, let's go look!

Ticket Agent: Do you mind sitting in the emergency exit row?

--in my head: emergency exit row means I might have to open a door for a plane full of panicked people who might want to squeeze the life out of me to exit the plane, but then, there would be that power of telling people "one at a time please, orderly and calm!" and then only allowing them to exit if they knew the secret password and when they didn't know the secret password I would have to make them hold their nose while singing The Wheels On the Bus, plus there is that minor benefit of extra leg room

Me: Oh no not at all, I'm very good with people and can boss like a boss.

**disclaimer: I'm not good with people and I have never bossed like a boss.  Plus I most likely never said this to the pleasant ticket agent who set me up with the best seat in the house.