Monday, February 10, 2014

Taco Cat

Hi. I'm Lynnea Taylor and I'm a taco fiend. The way I know I'm a fiend as opposed to a fan, a lover of tacos or merely a taco 'gourmet', is because I'm not just willing to eat them for breakfast, I love them for breakfast. And when I say breakfast, I'm not talking about those detestable things called 'breakfast tacos' which contain eggs and who knows what other horrifying ingredients in them. NO.

As a service to you and the community at large I will now expound the rules of tacos. (Disclaimer: I am no Mexican cuisine expert and would venture to say that these are not anywhere near anything authentic to real Mexican food.) I may also include some interesting facts that will come in handy for intellectual foodie conversations.

1. Tacos should always be eaten with soft shells. Hard shells crumble and break, losing the majority of your ingredients. This is an egregious act perpetrated by some unknown criminal with dastardly designs.

2. On shells: corn are preferable. If you live in a place where corn shells are not available, first start campaigning letters to your local lawmaker and take petitions now to correct this issue. Then, because it is impossible to go without tacos, believe me it's simply not healthy, you will need to settle for flour. Make sure they are soft, see #1.

3. People have different ideas about the proper order of ingredients in the taco for various reasons. I will not argue against these except to say that cheese always always always comes after meat. The heat from the meat will melt the cheese properly, otherwise you will be eating an abomination of nature.

4. Basic ingredients for proper tacos include seasoned ground beef. Here I would say that for those that do not eat meat, you are missing out, however refried beans (pinto or black) are acceptable substitutes. Cheese, cheddar or marbled are best. Lettuce, iceberg preferable. Tomatoes and onions. Avocados may be used one of two ways, either chopped up, or smashed into guacamole. Sour cream. Salsa, green or red. There are those that like black olives on their tacos. Here I draw the line. The olives have far too much flavor that will overshadow the gentle deliciousness of all the other essential ingredients.

5. Taco Cat is a palindrome.

6. Taco is the perfect writing food. Except for Crazy Core Skittles, which have been discontinued, thus forever damaging the world of literature.

7. "A life lived without tacos, is no life at all" - Leonardo da Vinci, or maybe it was Leonardo DiCaprio who said it. I'm pretty sure it was a Leonardo though.

And finally, this:

No comments: